Men

Manning Up: For Argument’s sake!

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Hello there. Hello to you too and to you over there. In fact hello to everyone. You are probably wondering what I’m doing here,  by the end of this, you will have a very clear picture. But let me just go ahead and sum  it all up,  here is an in depth dip into a male mind. Now that we are done wetting our toes,  let’s dive into the deep end without further ado.

Relationships are very sensitive things. They mean something entirely different to the modern day man and the modern day woman. The moment they start to mean the same thing to a couple,  then the time is right to put a ring on it.  However,  there’s no such thing as happily ever after,  whether you are committed or not. Every once in a while,  fights break out. Arguments can not be circumnavigated .

To a woman (I think) they fight over the really big things. They only fight over petty things if they feel the need to train a man to go fetch. Either way,  we the men cannot win a fight against the woman. Whether verbally or physically. We always go into these with both hands behind our backs because it is a gentlemanly thing to do. Also because this is not the ice age.
As a man I can only tell you how to protect yourself and walk away from all this with your nose held high.

A) Don’t remind her of that time she cheated on you. To be honest,  if a man cheats ,  every argument (even about putting up the toilet seat ) will transcend to that one time. When a woman cheats and you somehow let her back into your life,  do not. I repeat,  do not remind her. You will lose…miserably.

B) Wrap your tail between your legs. You do not have to reply to every single accusation or you might just spend the night running around in circles. Plead the 5th amendment and only retort after about  6 or a dozen counters. It will take the steam out of the squabble. The moment you go toe to toe,  she will raise her voice to prove a point and trust me,  you don’t want the neighbours or friends to know you are having problems. The person who takes your girl is never that far away.

C) Do not resort to violence. This is important for two reasons. 1) it is a very cowardly thing to do. 2) it’s expensive. You will know when she sues. Violence is not the answer,  you are not Bruce Lee.

D) The aftermath of a fight is the scariest thing. The possibilities are just too many and you can never know what is actually going on in her head or what to do when she offers you food. This is the point in life when you Google tutorials on how to sleep with an eye open. The best thing to do is not to sweat it. Do not pester her with endless apologies and gifts. It will further underline the fact that you are guilty and in future she will put on fake mood swings so she can get some new  Prada . The best thing to do is to ignore her while she is ignoring you. That’s an instinct you already should know. Women hate that. It’s the only card you have that can  come up trumps.

On that note fellas,  follow this life hack.  You will appear to lose battles but you will win the war. Am lying,  you will lose but not so miserably.

satisfashionug@gmail.com
 

 

Philosopher, writer and sports fanatic.

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