Men

Manning up: When injury time kicks in

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Well. It’s August. The rush to break the duck is usually unbearable during this time of the year. This is the exact time when you have just broken off from your previous relationship and gotten over the heights it reached during February and now you realise that you have been single for a month or so. It’s either that or the realization that you’ve not had sex in weeks that sparks ennui in some and narcolepsy in others. Ladies and gentlemen. This is what we call injury time. Injury time is when one can easily go from a steady human being to a total nuisance.  This is mainly because they’ve treated most of the females in their life as crap.

Stupidly, they begin looking up old chats and trying to be friends again only for it to become apparent that all they need is sexual release. At this point the females will hate you. At this point no one on your friends list is
safe as long as they reply. At this point you are bordering on insanity and am not exaggerating.

It is the worst. It’s a point to make mistakes. It’s the point that a

smooth playboy will get in a shitty relationship because it was the fastest direct route to sex. When the females in your league prove harder to let up the cherry you move down a level and another level and another level until you hit rock bottom. There’s no way you can stop panic in such a situation and the best remedy to this is to ride the storm, which is obviously why I might sound as the least helpful guy right now.

However I want you to emerge from this with your dignity intact. Try your best not to make moves on everyone. Some people are better and more precious if they are kept as friends. Do not call any of your exes. You will look like the desperate loser that you are and we don’t want people to know, do we?

Do not go on random dates. This is the point where you are going to think that meeting total strangers will increase the span of your fishnet. You will try to go to parties, funerals and even the State of the Nation address in order to find a viable partner for coitus and you will fail. Nothing causes more panic than failure piled on failure.

Jerking off. Let’s talk about this next week folks. Come with your notes ready. You can still engage us in the comments section and spill the worst thing you’ve done during this injury time. As usual I’ll  be glad to help.

Philosopher, writer and sports fanatic.

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